Yeah. So the most interesting thing that’s happened to me so far was my first attempt to make a meal for myself. It was a complete botch. And all I wanted was a ham sandwich, and a pickle.
Now, before you go saying to yourself, “This man is hopeless. He is incompetent in the kitchen,” I’ll have you know that I have successfully made ham sandwiches before and since the incident this afternoon. However, this one particular attempt actually managed to fail spectacularly.
Preparation and setup went as normal. Things were proceeding smoothly, until I attempted to remove the sandwich components from the toaster tray. The first piece came off the tray, but flipped upside down in the process and smeared molten cheese across the countertop. After recovering that piece and placing it on a plate, I attempted to carefully remove the second piece from the tray. Unfortunately, it was stuck, and during my maneuverings to extricate it, I burned my knuckle on the tray. I quickly removed my hand from the vicinity, as is natural, but that hand was the one holding the fork under the sandwich piece. The fork came up with about a third of the sandwich piece mashed into it through acceleration. The other two thirds of the sandwich piece did a graceful slow-motion pirouette in the air, and then fell (also face-down) onto the ground.
After cleaning up the kitchen, I tried again and did manage to feed myself without further incident. However, as an omen of the probable successes I’ll have cooking, this was an interesting way to start…
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