So… I got my grades back. An A and three Bs. Not bad, though I was thinking that I would get at least two As… It’s much better than some of my grades in the past, though…
I’m really writing because I have a new cousin. Born early Tuesday morning, male, something over 9 pounds. Which is really terrific news.
It’s also somewhat startling, now, to realize: by the time this guy knows how to think, I’ll be a full, straight-out, grown-up. There’s no getting around it. What’s more, it’s almost guaranteed that this guy will have nephews and nieces closer to his age than I am. Which is kind of funny.
I’m the oldest member of the youngest generation on the immediate family tree. So all the while I was growing up, cousins were people, who though younger than me, were in the same general age category. We were all kids together, and we could play together. We were, if not peers exactly, equal at least in the minds of the adults. Then, after my little brother was born (seven years after me), I stopped getting new cousins. So I had a very nice idea of how things were to work. I had two siblings and two cousins, and we were all within seven years of each other. What’s better, the age graph tended toward my end of the scale, so I was comfortable with all of them.
So now that I have three cousins in addition to the ones mentioned above, one of whom is brand new, I have to come to terms with the fact that I am literally decades older than these people. And it’s a really crazy feeling, because no matter what, I will never be a peer of these people. Twenty years from now, they’ll be in college, and I’ll be close to the age that my parents are now. Looking on it like that, I feel old.
Perhaps the reason why this feels really strange is that all my life, I’ve been the really young guy. For most of grade school, and all of high school, I was the youngest person in my grade.
Actually, I have a better reason why this feels strange: my uncle, to whom my newest cousin has just been born, was about the age I am now when I was born. Again: to me, he’s always been one of the grown-ups. And that’s how I’ll seem to my cousins.
I don’t know. I’m sure I’ll adjust. But one of these days, I’ll have to see about acquiring some maturity, some experience, a vision and an inspiration for my life… you know, all those things that grown-ups are supposed to have.
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